All posts by Umberto David Panda

Changing Gender Roles for Men – Part 5

Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash

Part 5 – How do we change? Improving things...

It’s this which is the first core of my argument.

The narrative as it stands doesn’t start from the correct place and potentially may only succeed in driving a wedge between the sexes further.

I say this because, many men, like myself, will probably hear the narrative and feel that something isn’t right with it? It doesn’t gel with their experience and what they know from what they observe everyday, nor what they read from surveys and data. They then cannot find themselves able to engage in the discussion as they don’t feel the position is right – and we end up in unproductive debates which we title things like “not all men” or end up in a game of “who has it worse.” We end up generalising, grouping and dismissing and reach for actions that punish innocent people – such as suggesting curfews are put in place etc.

If you are reading this and are thinking again about trying to deploy the “but you are making it about you” argument, I would say simply, yes, I am. But I’m doing so because there is a reality about gender politics which seems to be commonly missed? That is, men and women are two sides of the same coin and that if you want to affect change between the sexes, BOTH must be involved in the discussion at an equal level. Trying to brow beat and shame “men” as a whole group or telling men that they must not participate in the discussion, simply will not lead to a good outcome. All it will lead to is alienation, misunderstanding and a widening of relationships.

So what am I suggesting we need to do? Here are my suggestions.

Changing Gender Roles for Men – Part 6

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Part 6 – Conclusion

And so, to come to my final conclusion in what needs to change, my case is very simple. Gender roles for men must change. I will explore the HOW this can be done in another article – but equality cannot be achieved unless men are also able to change their gender roles on the fly also.

Men too must effortlessly be able to switch between being perceived as a carer and nurturer but then also in the next moment choose to default to our original roles of being tough and rugged. We must be equally accepted as primary school teachers, nurses and nail technicians as we are fighter pilots, racing drivers and stunt men. In the same way men cannot dictate a womans gender role, so we too must not let women dictate to us what our roles should be.

Further, we should react with as much disgust, horror and offense to any woman expecting that we’ll be doing the BBQ or changing the flat tyre as women would react if we expected them to make the dinner or not work and only take care of children.