Articles and Posts

Happy Birthday! Also, your sexuality is now a socio-economic idea.

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Having an over active mind means I can’t get on with the world or other people easily. I can’t always skip along at the surface like other people and “not worry about it.” It’s a real problem I have. It makes me very unpleasant to be around sometimes.

Heres one example.

My partners sister is one of the “wokest” people I know.


Senior Manager? Big decisions – small risks?

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Having worked in the corporate world for more than 15 years, it has often seemed to me that more senior you are in your job, the less pain you feel from the decisions and actions you take? Its counter intuitive.

Lets take a real example I lived through.

Imagine you are Chief Commercial Officer for a company. You sponsor through a deal with a new customer. Deep down in your heart you aren’t sure about this deal. You have an uneasy feeling about the team their side. But you need the revenue. And if it does work out the way the spreadsheets predict, the revenues will be high and you might look like a hero. So you push for it and sell it in to your peers.

In an office with the CEO and the CTO, COO you decide the best way to implement this new customer.

It’s decided with/by the others that you will build a new team. You will reassign some development and business analyst resource to plus recruit five new people in operations roles to support the ongoing work. This will be a totally new team in your company. There are 25 people there in total.

The three c-level people in the room have just taken far reaching decisions. The “customer x” department is born. Implementation begins.


What ARE you?

I post on twitter regularly under @TragicSubTruth. You’ll normally find me “hanging around” the NSFW community there – mostly femdom/findom.

I confuse a lot of people there. I’m ambiguous. I appear to be another submissive findom guy at first glance – but I don’t talk/act like one exactly.

I post about men and gender roles. I call out misandry. I’m often negative about findom. I talk a lot about the psychology of BDSM. The next minute I’m half horny tweeting about cam girls. I retweet and follow Dommes. I retweet and follow subs.

This causes confusion and that confusion, sometimes causes upset. People think you are one thing and expect you to fit their “description” of what it is. When you don’t, they don’t know how to deal with it.

So to avoid any confusion, heres whats going on in a useful FAQ style thingymajig.


On the origins of fetishes and kinks

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Forward

In truth, I must start by saying that when I came to write about this topic, I was faced with the stark fact that I know, very little about it.

Aside from a few online blogs, articles and youtube videos, my formal understanding of sexuality is exceptionally limited. I am not a sex therapist, psychologist or councillor. And as I started to write here, it hit me just how little I actually know.

I think what I will attempt to do here then, is just write with best endeavors based on experience and what research and info I’ve found online. My aim here is anyway, is not to be academic but partly to document my own experiences and anecdotes/experiences with others and to open others minds up to other peoples experiences and just to the idea it’s ok to talk about such things.

Why?


Women, you want to treat men better? Here’s a list to start with

Hey women, what are you planning to do better? Because you need to do better. Here are ideas on how you should treat men better.

  • Women are strong, independent and can speak for themselves without the support of men. Don’t automatically expect men to talk to their friend who is “kind of a creep” at work and fix the problem for you. This isn’t 13th century Europe. You don’t get to direct men into confrontation with each other anymore. If you think someone has said/done something towards you that is against HR policy, report it to HR.
  • Don’t talk over other people.
  • If you are asked to be on a panel/team or to attend a specific event and see that it’s all women, say something. Maybe even refuse the spot!
  • Learn to read a fucking room.
  • Don’t call a man “creepy” in a professional setting, unless he’s actually done something wrong which you are prepared to report to HR and deal with formally.

Agents, go-betweens and rent seekers

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One of the most natural things to humans and humanity is to trade. To make transactions. To exchange goods or services. This is seen globally, throughout virtually all groups of humans, regardless of race, ethnicity, culture or creed. It even occurs in some highly developed species of ape.

At its most basic level, this comes down to nothing more than the concept of “something I want for something you want.”

Taking what the other person wants by intimidation or violence is not always possible – nor is it practical on an evolutionary basis. Therefore, it’s in the nature of human beings to try and find a trade that is mutually beneficial. Such transactions, when carried out buyer to seller, or better still, face to face, are wonderful things for human beings. There is an innate joy for most people of “doing a deal” – feeling like you got a bargain. Indeed, psychologically, it is of great comfort to people if it feels like the bargain went both ways. You got something you wanted – the other party also benefited. Great transaction. A handshake. Good deal.

These are such things that nations are made from – nay- empires. Trade, commerce, bartering, exchange. Fundamental to the raw roots of humanity itself.


Changing Gender Roles for Men – Part 1

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Introduction

The bulk of this essay was written in 2021, shortly after the murder of Sarah Everard in the UK.

However it tackles ideas and themes which I pondered long before that event. After the murder and subsequent trial, there was much outpouring in the media and online of how violence affects women and also, it’s fair to say, a lot of misandry and general animosity towards men (online especially).

I spent a lot of time examining how violence (and the threat of it) had also affected my own life. Also, how the world has changed with regards to gender in my life time.

Spread across six parts, it aims to cover how gender and gender related topics were growing up for me as a child, experiences of violence and intimidation I experienced – and then use these as background to an examination of how violence and related expectations around violence and gender influences wider society.

Finally I will come to the conclusion – that men MUST be allowed to change their gender roles in the way women have.

I fully expect to have to come back and update this essay in future as my ideas evolve but it stands as a start point and the launchpad if you will for many of my other views on life and gender politics.

Lastly, please forgive the fact the essays are somewhat rambling at times and seeming unconnected. There are conclusions at the end and I think it helps to have some of the background in your mind to understand how I came to them. Please stick with it if you can!


Changing Gender Roles for Men – Part 2

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Part 2 – What happened next…

All of this information just serves as background. This was the world that shaped me and what I was fed/trained with in my formative years.

And not just me, thousands of other men and women like me probably who were born in the 80’s and before.
All of us were trained, educated and prepared in our formative years for a world which, when we got to it, didn’t really exist anymore.

Because it was during the intervening years whilst we were growing up, women largely successfully changed their gender roles and redefined themselves and what they should be.

Men however, on the whole, don’t seem to have been quite as successful at redefining theirs.

And it’s this which serves the backdrop to everything else I will write on gender here. It’s this point that will be the anchor for all other views I develop on gender politics and particularly, the plight of men in modern society.


Changing Gender Roles for Men – Part 3

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Part 3 – Experiences during my life

With my upbringing, formative years and socialisation described as background in parts 1 and 2, what I will now follow on with are a series of anecdotes about my life.

Some are very short. Some are longer. Some of them are about me. Some of them are not.

Some of them are things I heard 2nd hand from others. Most are generally about violence and intimidation. Many are about the relationship of certain men (and myself) with violence and it’s ever constant presence within an average mans life. But more than violence, I will also touch on situations where I felt vulnerable, hurt or psychologically injured but it seemed my gender stopped me from expressing it or from having others hear me or help me.

I should say that my experiences I suspect are totally average and “normal.”


Changing Gender Roles for Men – Part 4

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Part 4 – When it comes to violence everyone is equal but some are more equal than others

The anecdotes I have picked in part 3 may be shocking to some but on the whole, I don’t suspect are terribly unusual for most men/boys. I selected these as particular examples – but left out plenty of others so as to not make the whole thing an entire life story. I chose also heavily based on the past and childhood, so to show that violence was something I grew up with as part of my experience.

Recently, via media (particularly social media) we’ve been encouraged to read about (or ask for) women’s experiences of violence and intimidation, particularly in the street and by strangers. A lot of the stories that have come forward have certainly been unpleasant and should be met with sympathy and concern. The murder of Sarah Everard as the instigator for much of the discussion on the topic was certainly appalling and upsetting.